Monkeylips Organic Green Tea Toilet Paper Review

Monkeylips green tea toilet paper

So this coronavirus pandemic is really making people do weird things. You have people throwing cats on Zoom calls. Alex Jones threatening to eat his neighbors. (Can’t think of a worse way to die.) And above all else, massive hoarding of toilet paper continues to this day.

Now, if you’re tired of searching for that elusive TP or are just sick and tired of wiping your ass, check out our video review of the Brondell Swash 1000 Bidet. But if a water cannon being shot up your butt isn’t your cup of tea, and you weren’t fast enough to trample over other Target customers to get the one remaining pack of Charmin, fear not, you won’t have to resort to used corn cobs just yet. All you need is some Monkeylips!

Wait, Did You Say Monkeylips?

monkey lips
Put them ass cheeks right here!

Okay, not those monkey lips. Monkeylips is the bizarre name for this organic green tea toilet paper from South Korea that I found on Amazon. Yes, toilet paper made from green tea instead of trees, which if you’re into conservation, is a really big deal.

It’s 3-ply, comes in a pack of 30 rolls, and costs around $30. So while it’s a little more expensive than your garden variety TP, it’s not going to send you to the poorhouse. Or the outhouse for that matter.

It’s green. But thankfully not Soylent Green.

So How Does It Compare To “Real” Toilet Paper?

The fact that this toilet paper is organic, not made from trees, and doesn’t contain any bleach or other harmful chemicals is great and all, but doesn’t mean crap if it doesn’t do a good job, well…cleaning your crap.

Well, thankfully I can say that not only does Monkeylips do a good job cleaning up, but it feels great too. The 3 layers are soft, but not so soft that stuff gets left behind in your behind. Each roll has about 240 sheets, which is a lot less than the 1,000 sheets of Scott that my wife likes. However, I do find that I need to use less of it to get clean.

Some reviewers on Amazon say that this toilet paper has a subtle fragrant odor to it, but in my experience I did not detect one. Not that I make it a habit to go smelling toilet paper or anything.

It’s also septic safe and won’t clog your toilet. At least it hasn’t…yet.

I wish this bathroom had MonkeyLips

Bottom Line

If you’re looking for a great alternative to wood based toilet paper, then MonkeyLips Organic Green Tea toilet paper should be at the top of your list.

It’s soft, but sturdy. Feels great and won’t cause problems for people with sensitivity issues.

It’s 3-ply and lasts a long time.

Some people say it has a subtle odor, but maybe that’s a good thing since it might mask the other odors in the bathroom.

Available on Amazon for about $30 for 30 rolls


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